the end.

Goodbye is a must to everything.

Every start comes with an end. It's a package.

So that is why you don't put too much hope in every relationship, because at some point the permanent 'dot' will appear, and you start to realize that your roles in their lives will somehow ended.

And that is where you'll stop believing...

A Cynical World That We're Living In

Watch this video...

This is Susan Boyle, 47. A contestant from Britain's Got Talent show last week.

At first, I am sure most of us laugh and tend to make fun of this 'funny old lady' like the rest of the audience.

It's ashame that many of us are being sinical, by only judging from the outside without realizing that they are actually more beautiful than we do...

Back For Good

I'm back!

And I'm with my new Maxis Broadband! 24-7 online babeh!

(Planning on creating my own skin, but I'll use this one first temporarily~)

ISREAL = TERRORIST

A New Year!~

Owh, it was new year, 2009! Didn't feel like it.

Not to forget, the new year in Islam Calendar, 1430H. It started when Prophet Muhammad moved from Makkah to Madinah, and that was the starting of Hijrah year.

And starting this year, I know that I was born on the 1st of Muharram, the new year of Islam~! Nak hadiah. At least a friend did know about my birth date. Thanks.

Hopefully this year I will be more independent, and stop relying on others. Less dependencies. That's the best phrase. Stop hoping... and wishful too. I can survive alone...

A new resolution for a new year~

Happy New Year! Salam Maal Hijrah.

Pakciks, A Malacca Tour

Believe it or not, here we are again, the Pakciks up for a tour, a final one for Pakciks' state which is Malacca, bak kata Nizam "tanah tumpah air" En. Haidi kita. 4 of us couldn't make it, Para had to work, Nine balik kampung, Kecik gone to Langkawi while Peje has his last minute plan with family.

As we were going South this time, the plan was to meet in KL as Nazul and I were already here. We gather on Christmas day, sempat jugak jalan-jalan ke KLCC and OU, dan seperti biasa, tak lengkap perjalanan kitorang kalau tayar tak pecah. Kesian AGN9012, baru-baru tayar dah pecah.

We pushed off on Saturday morning, seawal 5 pagi (macam boleh) from my rental house kat Klang. Dua kereta seperti biasa, tapi kali ni kurang sikit passengers dia.

AGN9012 - Jep, Nazul, Amin
AEM3138 - Amir, Ewan, Nizam

Memandangkan dalam time cuti ni, jalan agak jem laa jugak masa nak masuk ke Melaka, entah apa laa ada kat Melaka sampai semua orang pun nak ke sini. At least we got our own reason kan, nak jumpa Haidi. Takkan diorang pun nak jumpa member kan, sebok je. Haha~ We arrived by noon, greeted by Haidi at the near gas station kat Exit Ayer Keroh and we went straight to Haidi's home.

Rumah Haidi betul-betul ada kat town, tapi dalam area kampung. Macam agak unik. Melaka ni memang unik-unik sikit. After Zohor prayer, we pushed off kat hotel penginapan kitorang (dah lupa nama hotel tu, tapi betul-betul kat area tourist). Lepas parking, check in, kitorang terus jalan. This time, kitorang tak guna kereta pun, kitorang gune kaki. Haha. Semua dekat-dekat je rupanya, senang hati berjalan. Pusing kepala ke kiri nampak bende ni, pusing kanan, nampak bende lain pulak, pusing belakang, bende tu. Tapi bile pusing atas, still nampak langit, takde beza... hehe...

The tour kicked off kat Istana Kesultanan Melayu Melaka. Mula-mula ingat macam Istana betul, tapi macam mustahil la kan, takkan tahun 1400 sampai sekarang Istana tu ada lagi, lawa pulak tu. Rupanya cuma replika, tapi agak smart lah. Dalam dia ada laa sikit patung-patung macam kat supermarket tu, tapi kali ni semua pakai baju melayu kuno dengan ada sikit cerita-cerita Hang Jebat ngan Hang Tuah, and some of the Istana stuff. Ada jugak prett prett di kalangan pakcik-pakcik ni yang perasan diri Sultan, tibe-tiba murka pasal kumpulan Gamelan dok senyap.

"Kenapa diam, baluunnn... baluuuun" Arh, sengal~ =))

Then depan istana ada park yang lawa, sempat jugak ambek gambar. Kat sini baru perasan camera saya kalau letak timer akan ambik 5 shots. So ape lagi, sempat ler buat gile untuk kelima-lima shots. Bengong. Tapi kelaka~ Haha. Kalau replay gambar, macam bergerak je.

Then kitorang p A Famosa, klasik~ mestilah ada gambar kat A Famosa kan? Macam tak complete laa ke Melaka kalau tak p A Famosa walaupun ni cuma satu bangunan kuno yang dah pecah-pecah, tapi ni lah macam icon untuk Melaka.

Kat belakang A Famosa plak ada bukit, terpaksa lah mendaki ke atas (lupa laa kat atas ada apa)... tapi ada laa macam batu-batu yang terukir tulisan-tulisan macam dalam Harry Potter tu. Lawa lah jugak.

Then kitorang ke Bangunan Belanda yang merah-merah sangat tu, sekarang jadi Church of Malacca tu kan. Pun tak ada laa apa sangat, tapi macam saya cakap, ni lah icon-icon Melaka yang klasik, and tak lengkap jugak lah kalau tak pegi bila dah sampai Melaka ni. Oh, lupe. Kat Melaka ni banyak gile beca yang colourful habis siap ada hi fi stereo kat belakang. Kadang-kadang agak kecoh jugak, tapi teringin gak nak naik. Lawa...

Then tiba-tiba kitorang perasan ada satu bas double decker ni, yang tak ada atap. Owh owh! Tibe-tibe jadi excited lah, nak naik nak naik~! Haha, bas ni akan pusing-pusing bandaraya Melaka selama setengah jam. Murah je, cuma RM5. Tak rugi... Dalam setengah jam tu kitorang naik bas tu dok kat atas sambil ditiup angin, pergh. Best, pusing-pusing Melaka setengah jam. Bila kite tengok balik, Melaka ni penuh dengan bangunan-bangunan lama, old school habis and ada yang dijaga. Even rumah kedai pun style old school, yang baru-baru cuma supermarket je. So, memang betul laa Melaka ni kan dah jadi bandar warisan UNESCO, saja lah untuk pengetahuan sapa-sapa yang tatau tu. Cewah.

Pastu, kitorang sambung jalan-jalan ke kincir air kesultanan melayu melaka dulu, ke satu bangunan pasar ni untuk beli sikit souveniour. Oh? Have to tell you this, beli kat kawasan ni jauh lagi murah daripada korang beli kat tempat-tempat macam AFamosa or Bangunan Melaka tu, maybe because tempat ni terpencil sikit takda sapa tau compare to those well known places kan. (Kesian plak bagitau dalam blog ni, nnt mcm mana laa abg-abg kat AFamosa tu nak carik makan, hehe...) Each of the pakciks beli keris, haha, saja laa simbol kitorang dah pernah sampai Melaka ni. Murah je, RM15 and ada Key Chains, 6pcs just RM10~

Sempat lalu depan muzium yang bentuk dia cam kapal Portugis, tapi tak sempat masuklah pasal dah nak Maghrib, so kitorang baliklah ke Hotel, rehat-rehat jap ngan mandi.

Malam nye kami ke rumah Haidi, barbeque bersama family. Cewah, konon laa sangat padahal sampai cuma nak makan je. Cis korang~ Susah ke kuarge Haidi... Hehe.

Lepas tu kononnye nak p karoke, tapi thankfully jugak semua tutup pasal saya dah ngantok lah sangat. Lagipon kaki saya kejang lah sangat~ So kitorang pun balik ke Hotel dan tido.

The next morning, Ierwan balik pagi-pagi dalam kul 9 macam tu pasal dia ada kenduri kat Penang, so tinggal laa 6 orang balik. Sementara Haidi hantar Ewan ke stesen bus, kamu sambung membuta sampai kol 12. (Penat weh...) Lepas kol 12, terus kitorang check out and que up kat Menara Taming Sari. Sebenarnye dari semalam nak naik, tapi tak cukup masa. Rugi ewan tak dpt naik... Lama jugak ler que up nye, dekat sejam lebih, naiknye cuma dalam 10 minit je. Tapi bila dah sampai atas, everything is worth it. Menara ni pusing-pusing kat atas, nampak ler satu Melaka dari atas. Best-best. Murah je pun, RM10 je.

Then kitorang ambik keter, parking kat area rumah Haidi. Dari situ, kitorang jalan kaki ke tempat naik bot pulak. Bot ni macam ala-ala kat Venice laa, tapi bot ni lalu kat Sungai Melaka. Kat tepi-tepi sungai ada laa rumah-rumah kampung yang lawa-lawa macam dulu-dulu kala. (Ada jugak nampak ikan duyung lelaki kat tepi sungai tengah berenang2, haha~), sampai lah ke muzium bentuk kapal Portugis tu. Best jugak. Lepak-lepak atas bot, semalam ikot jalan darat, skrang ikut sungai. Cuma RM5 je...~

Ni last place kitorang visit kat Melaka. Lepas solat kat rumah Haidi, terus kitorang push off ke KL. Haidi ikot sekali pasal dia pun nak balik rumah dia kat Cheras. Drop sorang-sorang, mula-mula Nazul kat Nilai, then tinggalkan keter saya kat Seri Kembangan and pushed off dengan satu keter ke Cheras, drop Haidi. Owh, kat sini Amir sempat buat begini.

"Terima kasih banyak-banyak tau!"

Dia cakap kat keluarga Haidi. Kelakar~ Macam kene paksa je menerima kasih dia. Haha.

Then drop Nizam kat Shah Alam and stopped for a night kat rumah sewaku di Klang before continuing the journey to drop me at Manjung. Gile penat... Tu belum cerita Amir drop Amin kat USM sebelum patah balik ke Taiping. Haha.

So, kesimpulan kat sini dapat dibuat, lawatlah Melaka. Best. Sebelum p luar-luar negeri tu, lawat laa dalam negeri dulu. During this recession time kite kene pusingkan duit kite dalam negara, not outside. Cewah, tibe-tibe citer ekonomi pulak. So, thanks untuk keluarga Haidi for this trip, terima kasih sangat-sangat tau~ (bak kata Amir). Thanks untuk Pakcik-pakcik yang join juge~!

Jumpe lagi~ di reunion seterusnya. Insyaallah, tanpa sebarang harapan. (^^,)v

Hopeless

I have this policy in life.

"Never regret. Any mistakes done during the journey of my path of life is part of the learning point not to repeat them again"

But I wonder sometimes whether I was mistaken on claiming some decisions I made was actually a real "mistake". Or is it nothing...

I always thought that you have to be the person whom you are judging, in order to understand him, or her. What made him/her that way? What lead him to the decision he/she made?

But when someone destroys what you have believed in for so many years, you start to think twice. Even the decision made by him/her is acceptable... you still have to think twice.

I believed in friendship.

I believed in hopes.

I believed in loyalty.

Now everything is faded away... I have nothing to believe in.

And now I'm this hopeless man without any trust left for anyone...

"Happy New Year! 2009!"

A dedication

Cuba kau dengar

meluahkan rasa hati

Dan bila kau bersuara

Setia ku mendengar

Agar tenang kau merasa

Siapa Sebenarnya aku padamu

Mungkin sama dengan teman lain

Yang bisa kau buat begitu

Dan bila Tiada lagi teman bermain

Kau pulang tuk dapatkan aku

Itulah aku padamu

Pernahkah kau ada

Bila ku perlu Tuk menyatakan rasa sakit Dalam diri

Dan bila kau perlu Setia ku menunggu

Agar senang kau merasa

Maafkan kerana aku tak pernah

Terlintas tuk menulis pada mu

Salahkan ku

Tak mungkin lagi aku meminta

Untuk kau mendengar

Untuk kau melihat ke mataku

***

Well said by the lyric of the song by Faizal Tahir...

Meaning of life?

I stopped at pump station last Friday while on my way back to Perak.

While waiting for a full tank, someone on a wheel chair stopped near me. He smiled...

"Muda-muda dah pakai kereta besar"

Well, Gen2 tak ada laa besar kan. But I replied, "Saya tak ada laa muda sangat". I feel ashamed, a bit as I don't need any big effort in owning a car, with the help of my parents of course and knowing that many out there were working their butt off just to get their life going while here I am, 23, and having quite a good and easy life, with the help of my parents again of course. This is what we call Rezeki.

"Nama siapa?" I asked, watching and trying not to show any sympathy. "Amir"... [tibe-tibe teringat kat amir]. I felt very sorry for him, he don't have both legs and left arm. All that he has is his right arm and he's only 21. We got ourselves into a couple minutes of conversation on his plan to continue his study on Tahfiz. He's a nice kid...

It seems like life is unfair. But never forget, Tuhan itu Maha Adil. Having all the wealth and health do not mean that life would be easy. Ujian duniawi itu satu cabaran yang kita sendiri kadang-kadang lupa. Wealth is only something that is lend by God for us to show what is the real meaning of life.

Wish you the very best, Amir.

Enough of You

I think I am a good person

Not the best, yet not that bad

Why do you treat me this way

I want to be appreciated

I want to feel the presence

Still what I received is your absence

I had enough...