Where is that 'Hot Milo'?

Whoa, It's been like forever since my last post eh? I've been writing if you must know, but I kept them all as drafts, waiting for my lazy finger to click that publish button. Duh. I wanted to post something actually, but I really don't know which post to start with. So now I decided to write a new one. 

This post is about how I was back then, and how I am today.

I remember almost 15 years ago, a girl in school labelled me as the 'Hot Milo'. I have this bad temper which was widely known among my close friends. That comes the term 'hot'. But that 'Milo' comes maybe because, as temper as I could be, I guess somehow I was still likable to some people. :-)

That 'Hot Milo' remained in me for years, until there was one event in school where I really had lost the sense of logic, I yelled to one of my close friend in front of a crowd. And the reason was stupid. I don't remember it though, but I am for sure, it was stupid. After that seconds of yelling, my friend startled. Everyone around us was too, they were shocked. That was the peak of my stupidity and inconsiderate anger. I realized that was too much. I left the place at once and sat somewhere far alone. I heard later that my friend was so upset that she cried. As much as it hurt her, it hurt me more I guess. I never like seeing my friend cries, especially because of me.

Yes, I did apologized later. But that was the event that set me back.

I decided, this 'Hot Milo' had to be gone. Far away that no one could ever called it back. From day to day, the 'Hot Milo' had somehow become the 'Ice Milo'. There was not much emotion that I could show. My heart was numb I guess. I kept it all inside. Far inside my heart. The good thing is though, the bad temper I had, it was gone. It became hard and difficult for me even to get upset. The fire of anger that crossed me was all kept inside my heart, until it was forgiven, and the flame was put to rest. The worst I could do is only to keep quite, diam seribu bahasa. My friends would call that merajuk. But to me, being quite helps to just forget everything, and forgive. And as time goes by, I will be back to normal. Just the cheerful self that I am. 

This 'Ice Milo' apologized more. This 'Ice Milo' smiles to everything. 

After many years, I really like 'Ice Milo'. 

This past few weeks however, I was wondering. What happen to 'Hot Milo'? Could I ask him to come for a visit sometime and help me release all the anger and tension that I have been keeping. I know, there was no flame. But the ashes remained. Could he come and clean it all? It's just that, if he ever make a come back, will he stay? Because I don't want him to...

As much as I wish that 'Hot Milo' could make a return, 'Ice Milo' has turned me into a better man, I guess. I really like 'Ice Milo' now. But as cool as it could be, please don't take him for granted. Because that could be the exact chance that it will turned into that 'Hot Milo' once again, and stay in me forever.